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Terribly Unreliable Wine Review : Griffone Primitivo


This bottle of Griffon Primitive is $3.99. Another win from Trader Joe’s. As long as it doesn’t taste like complete trash I’ll be purchasing again.


Honestly it doesn’t smell like much of anything. Nothing complex or even notable. Very unassuming…

Alcohol %


Sweet or dry

On the sweet or dry scale I’d place a few notches above sweet. So a little less heavy and definitely not as dry as Cabernet Sauvignon. More importantly it’s kinda awesome, guys. I like red zin a lot but this one’s special. Although it’s not spicy, like many red zin’s tend to be, it’s better than 99% of the $13 wines I buy. Tastes smooth, no bitterness at all, and very very juicy. I’m sure there are notes of fruit in it or some ish but for $4 we really don’t need to get into all of that.


😜. In all seriousness I came home after a long day at work and chilled out with a glass or two of this and it was all good.

Enjoy it

I enjoyed it while watching an old episode of True Detective but honestly this wine is so versatile you can enjoy it anywhere. Here’s an option, pour it into a thermos, pack a picnic lunch and head to the beach or take it to your favorite BYOB Thai or indian restaurant.

Ed. Note: So turns out that sometimes there is a bad side to wine that costs less than a full meal at Chik-Fil-A: You absolutely should not open this wine and drink it slowly over the course of say, an entire seven days. Don’t do that. Open it and commit yourself to finishing it in 3-4 days or take it with you to a get together. It’s not going to age well so best you get over that fact quickly.

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