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Terribly Unreliable Wine Reviews : Emma Pearl Pinot Noir


$3.99 from Trader Joe’s baby.


It doesn’t smell as strong as other Pinot Noir’s. It actually, unfortunately, doesn’t smell good at all. Not quite sour, but definitely not fragrant. It almost smells as if it’s been watered down a bit. At this point, I’m cursing myself for buying a bottle based on its pretty label (it’s what’s on the inside that matters).

Alcohol %:


Sweet or dry: 

Dry and disgusting. It tastes so bad I can’t really tell you what else is in it. Rotten dirt? What I do know is that this tastes about as bad as it smells. I’ve had two sips and I feel a headache coming on.


Pissed that I wasted $4! I tried but after a glass and a half I poured it out.

Enjoy it:

Personally, I wouldn’t bring this wine with me on a trip to hell but I guess it’s ok for a lonely night at home with no other options after a very stressful week? Protip: Just hold your breath and sip it slow, girl. Spend a dollar more and get a bottle of wine that doesn’t taste like sugary, watered down sewer juice. 


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